“Watch yo’ mouth, gal. Maybe ya bettah do some listenin’–pay some a-ten-tion to how you be talkin’, ’cause life gon’ do some con-jurin’– don’t never say what ya ain’t gon’ do. Fo’ the Lawd is my witness. Ya gon’ do just what ya say ya ain’t.” ~ Cherry Muhanji, in “Head Droppers,” Tight Spaces
The problem with never is that it really means surely. How many times have you uttered the phrase, “I’m never going to_______”? After one or two times of doing so, you’ve probably learned the futility of being so adamantly defiant. I know I have. But…you have spoken your word, with emphasis, and the universe has been obliged to bring you the gift of that thing you swore you would avoid. You are cancelling yourself out. You are finished before you even start anew. Never is a handmaiden to fear.
Never Say Never.
Often this declaration is made after some awful, never-to-be-repeated-again event. It is tied to regret. The downside of swearing off something so vigorously is a numbing stasis. And down the line, a guaranteed repeat of it. When you are once again gifted with the thing you never wanted, you cannot move, you dare not, lest you find yourself taken again by surprise into yet another situation that echoed that first undesired one. The result: you are rooted in immobility and fear. With great determination you steel yourself against further onslaught, digging your heels in deeper, while a little something inside you dies — just a little. But it’s enough. And you know somewhere in you that you have let yourself down…again. It’s a mad crazy cycle that takes you nowhere. Here’s the thing: if you’re not moving, you’re probably not growing. You’re likely frozen and not really living. Life is action, movement. Life is risk, dare. Life is a leap into the unknown either praying or knowing that you will land upright somewhere near where you wanted to be. Even in the quieter moments, life itself is breathing gently, softly.
“There is no such thing as no in an attraction-based universe. Everything means yes, come to me.” ~ Kelley Rosano, Astrologer, “Libra Lunar Eclipse and the Cardinal Grand Cross,”
Whether it’s the risk of a new romance, a long dreamed of travel to an exotic land, trying your hand at something you always wanted to do but feel it’s too, you’re too old now, go ahead and do it anyway! Breathe deep. Be willing to take the chance. Rather than avoid the adventures of life, or face the unexpected twists and turns that will surely come, seek to be open to possibility. There might be the most unexpected gift waiting for you on the other side of the experience. Even if it is one that rocks your world and scares you, there is the gift of growth on the other side of that experience. In time, there is wisdom. If not right away, then the next time, because life is always meant for good. Eventually, the lesson is learned. Eventually we all get there. But you can ease the way if you practice being open to the unknown. Assume that which is coming into your life is for your own good. Proceed in alignment with the idea that all things work together for good, and you might just be surprised.
Never is the period that closes the door on potential. It rules out the possibilities. Sure, you don’t get hurt, but you don’t get anything else, either. You don’t fail but you don’t succeed. Except at staying right where you are. And there’s always the chance that you could get what you didn’t want eventually because the energy of an uttered or thought never is a resistance, and what you resist persists. Now if you’re happy where you are, no worries. But if you want to take life up on its offer of grand adventure and learning, if you want to see life for what it really can be, if you want to test yourself and find that you’re okay, leave never with your yesterday at the back door and move into the present possibility of right now.
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